Hello everyone! Let’s talk … transparency.
Are the lows of life really an acceptable excuse when progress is at a standstill? Although I’m prone to believe there should be exceptions to every rule, others in the world do not share that same view. Most, in this day and age, tout that the show must go on.
What happens when the entire “supposed” show ceases?
Okay, no more code speak. Audience, you know that isn’t my style.
One of the first tragedies I went through was the suppression, damn near deletion, of stimuli to continue with the whole Convoluted Prism development. The main factor influencing this was the loss of someone who was the driving force for the final book of the story. Unbeknownst to a lot of you, I tend to plot out my titles and summaries far in advance, with an outline of how I want things to go. No, Convoluted Prism, in and of itself, isn’t nonfiction, but traits of certain characters in parts were.
My attitude became, “Why even continue with this?”
The sour in my normally sweet decorum started in 2015 and continued through 2016. It was a miracle that I was able to create “The Satiationship” for Concordant Vibrancy 3: Lustrate. Yet, I pushed forward, because I already committed to the project.
Along with that, things were crumbling with the All Authors Family. Not as much with the individual writers but more so with management. There was this air of discouragement, frustration, and exhaustion that trickled down the pike.
Yes, management did their best to keep things afloat, but it didn’t take a genius to pick up that something was wrong.
I wasn’t sure which came first: the elimination of the magazine or the changes within the publishing house. To me, I felt like they were both happening at the same time. I understood the Vice President’s pain and how hard she worked to keep everything afloat when the President behaved as if she didn’t give two craps. It wasn’t long before I took a side, admiring the Vice President while feeling anger and disappointment with the President.
When the VP finally had her fill and resigned, I threw down my pen as well. It added to my not wanting to write another word.
There was one snag. I was the person keeping Pleasure Prints from reaching completion. Everyone else’s stories were in, but because of all the All Authors chaos, production had been postponed from 2016 to 2017.
2017 came and went. Never had I experienced so much sadness. I wanted to confide in other All Authors brethren but didn’t want them getting caught up in my personal feelings toward the President. I reached out to the former VP to see how she was faring. She did admit to missing the creative process of All Authors but was not a fan of where things were going and how exhausted she was in taking the wheel for two.
Since my heart was still broken, so was my inspiration.
I gave the rest of the writers the option to produce Pleasure Prints without me. They all took a vote and refused. It would either be all or none.
I still felt bad but I couldn’t force what didn’t exist.
It was the middle of 2018 when I got a spark, based on a conversation I was having with a fellow author, confessing how stuck I was with Convoluted Prism. I remember her telling me there was nothing to stop me from writing about other elements in the CP world—perhaps doing that will give me the mojo to approach CP again.
Hearing that got me back into note taking mode—the preliminary process I go through while developing my stories.
I was working my way back, back to my paradise—the paradise of writing.
It made me think of the Pleasure Prints question, yet there was still no word on Pleasure Prints. The former President and Vice President were doing their own things.
Fall of 2018, rumors sprouted of a conversation—about how much each head missed All Authors. Yet, really All Authors never died, just the previous manifestation of it did.
What if All Authors could function without all of the extra—just an assembly of people putting out transcendent literature?
Finally, at the end of the year, both heads were in agreement. All Authors got new life, and so did I.
I know that it isn’t coincidence that just as soon as there was peace with my publishing family, my creativity would burst forth.
I recognize that I am not a writer who can write against the turbulence in my life. It puts me on pause. When my environment isn’t right, I’m not right. It’s how I’m set up.
I mean no disrespect to my sisters in write, Da’Kharta Rising and Queen of Spades, who have the ability to take pain and put it effortlessly on the page, whether they are personally going through it or not. I’m not able to compartmentalize—add, subtract, multiply, and divide as I see fit.
If I am going through something, I’d rather take my time and deal with that than to dare stain the pages with what could amount to garbage on my end. There’s enough garbage literature out there for me to add to the lot.
It only took me about 2 weeks, maybe less to write “Onus”. If one wants to add my doing extra editing and add-ins, about a month. Yet, I have the same rush of pride in this, as I did with “Seven Days of Stimuli” for Crackles of the Heart.
Despite all of the commotion in the background, each story in Pleasure Prints—definitely worth waiting for. No worries though, we won’t make you wait another four years for the next collection.
I would say “Scout’s Honor”, but I’m not a Scout.
Until next time,
COMING SOON!
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